“Hail Mary, full of grace.”
Whenever I recite this phrase within the prayer, I can’t help but visualize the angel Gabriel appearing in the corner of a room, with heavenly light rays and all, to an adolescent woman – perhaps around my age.
A question then ensues within my mind: how did our Blessed Mother respond to such appearance?
What was her initial reaction?
I assume that in her gracefulness, the Virgin Mary was able to maintain composure, at least to some extent. The last time someone tried to pull a “surprise appearance” on me, I flew almost a foot away from where I was sitting, unleashing a scream that scared everyone around me, and somehow I eventually ended up on my back.
Talk about being full of grace.
However, as of late, I have been re-evaluating the meaning of what it means to be “full of grace”, which goes beyond being the opposite of perpetual clumsiness (or, in my case, jumpiness). Continuing in my growth as a young Catholic woman, I find myself more and more compelled to look towards our Blessed Mother for guidance as to how to develop into a woman of virtue. And if we look closely at the life of our Blessed Mother, we, as young women, can pick up some tips as to how to become women full of grace.
Reflect, not ruminate.
“And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.” Luke 2:19 NABRE
Like a lot of my fellow sisters, I’m a chronic overthinker, so this phrase can sometimes be a trap – not only will I reflect on things in my heart, but I will also ruminate over them at least a hundred times, analyzing every minute detail. However, I’m learning that “reflecting” in this context has two parts. The first aspect is to momentarily dwell on, or rather, recall what had happened – absorbing the events that had unfolded. But the second is arguably more important, and that is to ask these questions: “What is the Lord trying to tell me in/through this situation? How is He calling me to respond?” Oftentimes, we can get stuck in the replays within our minds that we are unable to move forward and miss the message entirely. Personally, asking these questions have helped ease the need to overthink, which tends to focus on our own perception of the situation, and instead redirect our minds and hearts to being receptive to what the Lord is trying to say at that moment.
Magnify not ourselves, but our Maker.
“And Mary said, ‘My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my savior.’” Luke 1:46-47 NABRE
This famous verse known as The Magnificat (or The Canticle of Mary) was Mary’s response to the praise she received from her cousin Elizabeth for being the mother of the Lord.
Take that in: the mother of the Lord.
Our Blessed Mother is the mother of the King of all kings – more powerful than any authority on Earth.
And this is how she responds.
In psychology, there is a well-known concept referred to as self-serving bias, in which we attribute our success to internal factors and attribute “failures” or unfavourable outcomes to external factors. For example, when we ace an exam, we tend to think that it is because we are smart, whereas if the reverse happened and we don’t do well on said exam, we tend to blame other factors (e.g. questions were ambiguous, not enough time, etc.). This was the case for me, especially in my first year of university. Coming out of high school where I held (onto) a reputation of being a high achiever when it came to academics, I was quick to attribute high grades to my intelligence, and the not-so-high grades to my professor being unfair/the course being too hard, and using other students’ rants on Reddit to back up such claim.
While there is nothing wrong with attributing our success to our capabilities, and while it may also be the case that things may not have ended up as we had hoped due to factors beyond our control, let us not forget that, at the heart of it all, we were made by an intentional Creator. By recognizing that we were made by the Lord with a unique and special purpose, we can bypass the self-serving bias and clearly see that the outcomes that unfold within our lives are not simply products of internal aspects or external factors, but are intentionally and meticulously penned by the Author of Life himself. (In other words, let us give the glory back to Him!)
Notice that I said outcomes. Just as a story has warm, tingly moments that make you smile from ear to ear and moments that simply break your heart, the story that God writes for each and every one of us includes times of joy and sadness. Through it all, as women of God, we are called to respond in the same way our Blessed Mother did. In utter humility and complete surrender, and in every moment of our lives, we are called to say, “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my savior.”
Moments with our Mother
Personally, I’m very close to my mom. (To give you a cultural reference, we liken our relationship to that of Rory and Lorelei Gilmore from the TV series Gilmore Girls.) In fact, there has not existed a day during which I did not speak to her because I consider her as my confidant: I ask for her advice, even over the most trivial things; I tell her about my day, and I confide in her my fears and doubts; my hurts and pains. But it’s not just a one-way relationship: I heed her advice and her input. By conversing with her, I am able to see things in a new perspective, and she gives me reassurance in times of uncertainty.
In the same way, our Blessed Mother yearns to have a close relationship with us. She knows the magnitude of emotions to a woman’s heart. She knows the joys of family, the struggles of fearing the future, and the pain of heartbreak, especially when she endured the pain of witnessing her beloved child nailed to a cross.
Thankfully, we have a direct line to the comfort of our Blessed Mother: the rosary. It is the most beautiful prayer – meditating on the mysteries that the Virgin Mary had undergone and how she responded to them is a sure-fire way to emulating her more and more.
Of course, it takes a lot of discipline to be consistent in prayer, and especially praying the five decades of the rosary, but what really helps is setting a designated time, or time of the day, at least, to talk to our Blessed Mother. I find that starting the day off by praying the rosary during my commute to school/work really helps in instilling a calm disposition within. Talk to our Blessed Mother everyday – you’d be surprised at what she may have to say!
Moving Forward
“’Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!’” Luke 1:45 NIV
My journey into womanhood has been that of a winding road. For the longest time, my perception of what it means to be a full-fledged woman in the 21st century is to be successful in terms of careers; to succeed in any field, especially those that are dominated by men. As someone who considers herself as an independent, strong-willed young woman, I am not one to ask for help. In fact, for the longest time, my drive in life was to prove my capabilities to those around me, and this reflects my choice of career as I strive to work in the tech industry.
However, in my ambitions, I missed an integral part of womanhood: dependence on my Creator.
In acknowledging that I need to depend on the Lord, I acknowledge that I am not strong on my own – that I need His guidance and help in order to reach my goals and dreams.
In acknowledging that I need to depend on the Lord, I acknowledge that, at the end of the day, it is His will that will prevail.
And in acknowledging that I need to depend on the Lord, I am able to establish myself as a woman of virtue; a woman of humility and obedience.
It is only in acknowledging that we need the Lord that we may become full of grace; full of His grace.
Ad majorem Dei gloriam.
Alyssa Gutierrez – East Cluster Music Ministry Head | CFC-Youth Pacific Region
