I just turned 23 last December.
As I was reflecting over my life during the few days before my birthday, I’ve come to realize how crazy and yet how fruitful those 23 years have been. They have been years filled with growing and learning who I was, who I was called to be, and how I was called to lead my life.
My birthday falls in the first week of Advent. So, as I was participating in mass to start preparing for Christmas, I began reflecting over my life and thanking the Lord for these past 23 years. During reflection after Holy Communion, He asked me, “How has your life been?” I answered without hesitation,
“Lord, it’s been difficult. It’s been VERY difficult, but it has all been worthwhile.”
Envisioning my growth and journey over these past couple of years, I realized that I’ve encountered many moments when I felt lost and I lost sight of who I was. These moments were sparked by anxiety and fear – these of thinking what can go wrong, of what other people may have thought about me, and – of course – of how I saw myself and my own weaknesses and limitations.
This anxiety and fear came from past experiences with temptation, a lack of self-confidence, and – more importantly – a lack of trust and faith in God. These emotions have come multiple times from doubting myself whenever I wanted to talk to other people or be involved in social activities, taking criticisms and suggestions for improvement too personally, or even from feeling like I’ve been the black sheep that found it difficult to relate with the other sheep in the herd. In addition, I sometimes dwelled in questions that sparked anxiety such as “Did I do the right thing?”, “Why do these things happen to me?”, and “From all of these sins and situations, will Jesus still love me?”
Although these negative thoughts and assumptions have seemed real or have taken over my mind and my heart, deep down I knew that these did not compare to God’s infinite love and a future full of hope for me. So, whenever I feel lost or it seems difficult to be myself, I just remember five fundamental truths about me and my worth:
1. God has a crazy, fruitful, and loving plan for me.
“For surely I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.”
– Jeremiah 29:11 (NRSVCE)
I am reminded every day that the Lord reveals many gifts and blessings – big and small – and, more notably, reveals Himself through those gifts and blessings. These can be the quality time spent with friends and family, the acts of service both given and received, or even simply the Lord’s stirring of my mind and my heart. Therefore, I can always be rest assured that even if I don’t know what the future holds, the one He has in mind for me is far greater, far beyond, and far exceeds the future I thought of for myself.
2. I am created in God’s image and likeness.
“So God created humankind in His image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female He created them.”– Genesis 1:27 (NRSVCE)
The more that the Lord reveals Himself to me and the more I learn about Jesus, His character, and His life, the more that I want to be like Him – fully in the man that He made me to be. I remind myself that I am called to live and thrive in faith, in hope, and in love. Further, I know that I’m called to be joyful both in my triumphs and in the storms where it’s difficult to even find joy. Lastly, I realize that I’m called to love not only because He is the source of my love, but also because He loved me first.
3. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
that I know very well.”– Psalm 139:14 (NRSVCE)
Knowing His plan, His being, and His love, I am reminded that I am made unique, one-of-a-kind, and wholly in His image and likeness. I remind myself of the gifts and talents that I can share with others – whether it is through the gift of wisdom or this talent of writing blogs. I know that just as when He created the universe (Genesis 1), He made me good. He made me very good. Lastly, I realize that He thought of every atom in my body as detailed as He thought of every star in the galaxy and every particle of sand on the seashore.
4. I am set apart to bring God’s love and light to the world.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”– Jeremiah 1:5 (NRSVCE)
I realize that God loves me so much that He wants me to share that love and light to my friends, my family, and other people around me. It is clear that God is asking me to live my life loving Him and loving others, guiding them towards Heaven and His goodness. Lastly, I realize that I can humbly rely on His strength and His grace to be able to do so – telling other people that they are loved as well.
5. I am worth fighting for after all.
“Let no one despise your youth,
but set the believers an example
in speech and conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”– 1 Timothy 4:12 (NRSVCE)
In knowing and realizing these truths about God’s love and plan for me, I now know that no doubt, no anxious thought, and no difficult situation can win against how He made me and what He says about me. I know that while the Lord loves me as I am, He loves me too much to let me stay the way I am. He continually calls me to be joyful, to move, to get outside of my comfort zone, and to even think outside of my own understanding so that I can pursue His mission of His great love to humanity.
Whether it is through my school assignments, my presence at work, sharing my skills and talents, or contribution towards my family and the community, I am called to love because He loves me that much.
I am grateful for these 23 years that the Lord has given me, filled with growing and learning deeply about myself and His love, faith, and hope for me. Even if my current and ongoing situations are not the best, I hope to continue being that source of love and light to others and in helping make the world a better place through Him.
I hope and pray that you can do the same. God bless always!
Josh Fernandez – Brother Youth Communications Press Head and Campus-Based Core Member | CFC-Youth Pacific Region
